


Traditions

by GealachGirl



Series: Holiday/winter "ficlets" 2018-19 [6]
Category: Daredevil (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Bonding, Drinking, First Kiss, Fluff, Found Family, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Matt and Jess are bros, Matt gets to talk about his senses, all over the place, but everyone supports each other, feelings are unpacked, friend gatherings, he realizes sharing is kind of nice, makeshift holiday plans, there's a lot of alcohol, there's a lot of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 22:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17252972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GealachGirl/pseuds/GealachGirl
Summary: This year, Matt's spending the holidays with all of his friends and they're making it all up as they go along. Over the course of the evening, they bond, support each other, share and come together. Through it all, Matt and Foggy's history comes up a lot.





	Traditions

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt: for different reasons, our entire group of friends won’t be joining our families for the holidays, so we make a list of ten new holiday traditions (and my favorite might be kissing you)
> 
> Coming up with 10 traditions was a bigger challenge than I expected. And all I know is Catholicism, I have only a passing knowledge of Protestantism. I'm sorry if I messed up how you guys view Christmas.

Claire and Karen had to work Christmas Eve and Day, Trish had been coerced into spending the day with her mom, Luke’s other friends were with their families, Danny and Colleen didn’t really have anyone else and Matt’s plans were Foggy’s — had been since college — and the Nelsons were out of town on a business trip and much-needed vacation.

“So, we’ll just have to celebrate ourselves,” Danny had concluded after hearing Luke’s, Jess’ and Matt’s plans for the holidays. “Feel free to bring any and all other friends. It’ll be a good time.”

 

The first thing they all tried was baking. Matt was sure Danny had gotten the idea and immediately gone overboard with all the possibilities. The idea was to make everything from scratch, so Matt smelled the normal ingredients like flour, sugar and vanilla, but he also smelled items like chocolate, cinnamon, molasses, brown sugar and the pure sugar of frosting.

“Danny, what was it you were actually planning for?” Luke asked gently as Matt centered himself. Foggy patted his shoulder in sympathy.

“Anything,” Danny replied happily. “I don’t know what you guys normally do or what your preferences are, so I got everything.”

Matt couldn’t sense facial expressions, but he could guess at them. Danny’s clueless positivity was one of Matt’s favorite things about him, but it took some getting used to how ridiculous it made him.   

“Well we do have anything we could want to make,” Claire said. The way she drew out the words suggested she had ideas.

“I know a mean gingerbread recipe,” Foggy supplied. Matt felt the building excitement in the air as it occurred to everyone that having the whole baking aisle from the grocery store on Danny’s counter had some benefits.

“Okay, everyone look up a recipe and we’ll see what we can do,” Claire used her triage voice, and Matt listened to tapping and rifling fill the air around him. He leaned in closer to Foggy.

“Do you know how to make those cinnamon-sugar rolls your mom makes for me?” he asked. She’d made them the first time Matt had gone home with Foggy and when she realized how much he loved them — and loved how well they heated up after Mass — she’d added them to her annual Christmas menu. It had instantly made her the first adult he’d trusted since Stick.

Foggy sounded fake-offended when he answered. “Like that isn’t a Nelson family specialty now. I’d be disowned if I didn’t. I’ll give you pointers as you go, though I’m sure you know how to make it happen. Danny, did you get nutmeg?”

Matt smiled and parsed through all of the smells to locate the ground cinnamon and one of the many bags of sugar. He reached for crescent roll dough with his other hand.

“Are we making the blind guy bake, too?” Jess asked. They’d known each other a few months now, but the others still hadn’t seen the full extent of how Matt lived his life.

“A lot of blind people bake and cook, Miss Jones,” he replied, rolling up his sleeves.

“And yet you never see this attitude when he doesn’t want to show off,” Foggy said, gathering his own ingredients.

“Your mother would never let me try,” he countered.

“You’ve been spoiled, Murdock.”

 

“No guys, it’ll be fun,” Danny protested.

“Why do ninjas all have the same idea of fun?” Jess complained. Foggy and Claire snorted in agreement.

The baking was either cooling, in the oven, or lined up to get in the oven and the apartment was now a bigger swamp of conflicting smells that filled the space and enveloped everyone and thing. It was mostly okay, but Matt was still campaigning for an open window.

Meditating didn’t seem like a bad idea.

“I’m in, Danny.”

“You would be.”

“Okay, what harm could it actually do?” Luke, the arbiter, the balance. “We try it out for like twenty minutes and move on to something else.”

“I’m not going to lie, most of you would benefit from it,” Claire said reasonably.

“It’s pretty easy, and once you find what works for you, I think you’ll probably like it.” Colleen had just gotten in, and now she’d adjusted to the fact that the kitchen was covered in baked goods and they were all winging this holiday celebration thing.

And that was how everyone found themselves sitting on the floor cross legged. Danny had been appointed the guide because it was his idea and he was more inclined toward teaching than Matt was.

Matt had been given the option of doing his own thing because he knew what he was doing, but he was intrigued about how this might play out. So, he was sitting on a pillow with everyone else, listening to Jess grumble under her breath.

“Alright,” Danny’s voice was calm and even, and he spoke slowly. “First thing you want to do is focus on your breathing. Let it pass in and out, slower and slower each time. Pay attention to the part of your body that moves, the way your chest expands. This isn’t about clearing your head, or not thinking about anything, just try to narrow your focus to one or two things.”

He kept going and Matt heard his friends gradually slip into it. Foggy went into it gradually. Nearby, he could tell when Jessica’s shoulders loosened, and when her breath came easier. Matt thought that, of all his friends, she could use it the most. He knew about the words she repeated to herself when she remembered Killgrave, how it was a type of meditation, and he was glad she’d gotten somewhere with this.   

Matt let himself drift too, focusing his senses on the sounds around him and drawing away from the smells. After seven minutes, the gingerbread cookies were done, and Matt got up to take care of them and put the next pan into the oven before everyone else came back to themselves.

Danny refocused them, and the session went on for another ten minutes before the timer went off again and the others stirred.

“You know, I actually liked that,” Luke said. The room chorused their approval and they all sounded more balanced in Matt’s ears, and the way their movements shifted the air. There was a pause and Luke’s voice had moved closer to where Jessica had been. “How about you, Jess?”

“I’ve had worse experiences where I wasn’t thinking,” she replied. She was telling the truth, but Matt could also hear how it was supposed to be a dark joke. She still sounded more relaxed, and part of him hoped she would try it again.

Luke groaned a little and Matt imagined an eyeroll. Foggy tensed and concern radiated through his muscles and voice.

“Hey, more baked goods!” he chirped, perpetual sunshine in his voice. “What else do we want to do while everything else is baking? This place is tragically under-decorated.”

Matt drifted out of the way and toward Jessica. Luke was still standing close and Matt wondered if they were touching. Despite their purposeful distance, they cared about each other.

“I thought it worked,” he said quietly, and he felt Jess’ eyes land on him.

“What the hell have I told you about spying on me with your superpowers?” she growled. Matt shrugged and smiled like he didn’t know what she was talking about.

“I’m just saying,” he said. “It seemed worth pointing out.”

She didn’t say anything, but Luke thanked him under his breath when he passed to check on the banana bread he’d put together.

 

Nevertheless, they did decorate next. Danny had bought a few things, flashy and shiny if the room’s reactions were anything to go by. Matt heard the buzzing of a lot of tiny lights and the crinkle of thin, metallic plastic.

“This is a good start, but it’s not enough,” Danny said. Foggy hummed in agreement.

Someone was rummaging. “We could make some decorations,” Colleen said. “We have scissors and paper.”

Matt did his best to pretend like he cared as people bustled around. He was given some paper chains and tinsel to help hang up for his effort.

Then Karen showed up, and Foggy must have texted her because she brought some more decorations, including a miniature Christmas tree that actually smelled like spruce, and a wreath that smelled real enough and was fun to touch.

Matt got to be in charge of those.

 

By the time the apartment was decorated, all of the baking was done and Luke had made the executive decision to start eating right away because it made the most sense. Meanwhile, Karen put on Christmas music, and Matt tuned in and out between the songs he liked.

His rolls had turned out well enough to satisfy him, and Foggy’s gingerbread cookies were popular. He was also a fan of Claire’s sugar cookies.

And he’d gotten his open window.

“Why are so many Christmas songs so dark?” Danny asked. “There seems to be a lot of death.”

“What kind of Christmas music do you think we’re listening to?” Jess asked. She’d tensed up again, and Matt wondered how related it was to the chocolate, peppermint cookie recipe she’d made.

“I mean these songs that aren’t about Santa. Like there was that one with the kids singing that was about war, and the one about the kings where they sang about ‘bleeding, dying’ and ‘tombs.’ And then this one, I get the feeling it’s not happy.”

“Oh, you’ll have to ask him,” Foggy said, and Matt knew he was being gestured to. Then he felt everyone’s eyes slide over to him. He sighed. He and Foggy had talked about this a lot over the years.

"Well this one, ‘Coventry Carol,’ is about King Herod’s order to murder the little boys who might be the king the wise men were talking about.” He was met with silence. “I’m going to have to back up.”

Then he explained the Christmas story, and how it was a good, hopeful story with some sad consequences because people, especially those with power, had always been terrible.

“Okay, but that doesn’t explain the death,” Colleen protested.

“Well one of the most important things Christ did, the thing that was prophesied, was dying in order to save humanity, so that sacrifice is a big deal, and an important part of the Christmas story and celebration, at least from the Catholic perspective. I know other Christians keep Christ’s sacrifice in mind, but I think they focus more on the birth part of it where we’re always aware of the eventual death,” Matt said, faintly embarrassed. He wasn’t ashamed of his faith, but it was weird to talk about it with people who didn’t have it. “It’s why Easter is the most important holiday in the Catholic Church. Other churches put more emphasis on Christmas.”

His voice finally trailed off, and there was silence again. He ate another gingerbread cookie and wondered how mad Foggy would be if he left through the window.

“The war one was John Lennon. He sang about that a lot,” Foggy explained, popping a peppermint brownie into his mouth.

And just like that, the strange tension bled away. As people moved on, Foggy leaned into Matt and bumped him with his elbow. Matt felt his shoulders move away from his ears.

“I always enjoy your little religious education lectures,” he whispered.

“Thanks.”

“I got you, dude.”

 

“Are there other traditions anyone has?” Claire asked.

“Well, when I was a kid, we always gave some of the baking to the neighbors,” Foggy said. “But something tells me that’s not going to happen here.”

“We shared cooking with our neighbors,” Luke said. “Then we’d all eat together and it was like a big party.” 

“This is pretty much all new to me,” Danny said brightly.

“Does dealing with Patsy and her mom count?” Jess asked. “Because keeping drugs and alcohol away was how I spent my holidays.”

Matt didn’t say anything, and he heard Karen’s hair swishing in a way that suggested she’d shaken her head. He tried to picture the look on her face based on the way her heartbeat picked up and the flush spreading through her body.

“Okay, let’s ignore the childhoods and move on,” Claire said abruptly. There was a chorus of agreement.

 

Jess had a better idea, and Luke and Danny left to find a liquor store.    

“There are so many holiday-themed shots,” Foggy said, scrolling through his phone.

“Fruity recipes would probably be best,” Matt said, leaning over Foggy’s shoulder like he could see the phone screen.

“Oh, do you remember that bar near campus that did those peppermint drinks?”

“The drinks that turned you off all Schnapps forever?”

“That’s the one. Maybe we could re-create that gingerbread thing they had.”

“Try looking up gingerbread and apple. I remember the apple taste,” Matt urged.

“Are they always like this?” Jess asked, probably Karen.

“You don’t even know,” Karen answered. “They’re basically common law married.”

Foggy had interacted with all the others before now, but Matt wasn’t sure they’d ever all been together at once. Luke, Jess and Danny had warmed to him immediately, and it made Matt incredibly happy. He liked hearing them all get to know and like each other.

“We did make a commitment all those years ago,” Foggy pointed out.

“And we renewed it at your parents’ shop,” Matt said.

“If you ever want a new job,” Jess said, “feel free to reach out.”

“She’s giving us a judgy look,” Foggy narrated.

“That’s how she looks at everyone, we aren’t special,” Matt replied, and Foggy’s laugh bubbled out of him before he let it go completely. Then it was deep and full, filling Matt’s chest and crowding out the sounds of the city. He bumped his shoulder into Matt again, so he could feel the vibrations even better. Matt grinned.

Karen and Jessica groaned. Claire and Colleen shook their heads and kept lining up the shot glasses.

 

Holiday-themed shots — which were pleasantly warm, and incredibly strong until Jess wasn’t allowed to pour anymore — turned into more elaborate mixed drinks in full glasses.

Once again, the smell of cinnamon, peppermint and fruit filled the air, this time mixed with the sharp, slightly metallic smell of alcohol, strong enough it was a taste.

Karen giggled at something Luke said, and everyone was warm, flushed and bubbly. Heartbeats were steadily bumping a beat slower, movements were heavier and more intentional and Matt heard vocal chords loosening as his friends drank, leading to hints of slurring maybe only he could pick out.

Matt let himself get a little hazy on a gingerbread apple cocktail, but mostly he enjoyed the feeling of Foggy leaning against his shoulder and the sound and sensation of having his friends sitting around him.

“How’s it going buddy?” he asked quietly. Foggy stirred a little and Matt was close enough to hear the sound of him blinking.

“I’m doing great, Matty. Absolutely wonderful.” He didn’t sound as drunk as the others — minus Jess, who didn’t sound drunk, but finally relaxed — which meant he was leaning against Matt because he wanted to. “Are you having a good Christmas celebration?”

Matt gave himself a moment to find the right words because Foggy deserved a full picture of how he felt about this evening.

“I never expected to love your family so much when you took me home the first time,” Matt started. “But I did. Your whole family embraced me the same way you did. And as soon as Christmas with them ended, I was looking forward to the next year— for the first time since the last Christmas with my dad. If we can do this,” he gestured around the room with the hand holding his drink, “every year, I think I can start loving Christmas like I did when I was younger.”

Foggy’s heart did a complicated swoop and fell into a whole new rhythm Matt had never heard before. He cocked his head toward his friend, and moved it again just in time to avoid being hit by Foggy’s arms landing around his neck. He _did_ recognize the signs of Foggy’s happiness as they settled around him.

“I’m so glad, Matty. You deserve so much happiness and I’m so glad you’ve found it and you’re letting yourself have it,” he said into Matt’s shoulder.

Matt felt a complicated swelling and beating in his own heart and he leaned into Foggy’s grip, raising his free hand to one of Foggy’s arms to return the hug.

 

Around him, Matt’s friends were debating, and he felt like he was in law school again. To his left, Foggy and Jess were debating whiskey, to his right he heard Danny and Claire on the topic of Eastern vs. Western medicine, and near the tree on the other side of the room, Luke and Karen were going on about the Avengers. From the sound of it, the alcohol was fueling most of these discussions.    

“Well, this isn’t what I expected happening,” Colleen said. She sounded bemused, but happy. Matt liked her. He knew they had similar stories with demanding “sensei’s.”

Matt hummed. “We don’t have gifts for each other, so we can’t distract them with that.”

Colleen’s heartbeat tripped into an excited beat and he raised his eyebrows. “There’s an idea,” she told him. She felt a little bit like Danny did when he got excited. “Everyone, I have another tradition to try out,” she said.

The light hum of conversation died down and Matt heard bodies shifting toward them.

“When I was a kid, we would talk about the things we wanted most in the world. Just pipe dreams and long-shot things, and I thought we could do the same here with dream Christmas presents.”

“But we’re making a rule against wishing away, or wishing solutions for, your childhood trauma. We’re not touching that,” Claire said, staring pointedly at the room. Matt could hear the sound of her breath change as she looked around the room, pausing at almost everyone except for Foggy.

“Sounds good to me,” Karen agreed. “So, this is like what we’d ask Santa for right?” Colleen nodded.

“I’ll go first,” Danny offered.

And they went around like that. It was nice and light-hearted. The gifts ranged from various kinds of expensive or hard-to-get equipment (Danny, Colleen, Claire, Luke) to paying clients (Foggy and Jess) to a lifetime supply of reporters’ notebooks and pens, but the good kind with caps and a straight body (Karen).

Matt was scrambling for a gift idea that wouldn’t change anyone’s heartbeat.

Noise cancelling headphones that actually worked for him would be nice for those days when everything was too much, but that would remind everyone that he hadn’t really experienced quiet since he was nine. He could always use suit upgrades, too, especially now that Melvin wasn’t available anymore, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to talk about Daredevil.

And then he decided he didn’t need to tiptoe around his own blindness. So what if he’d lost his eyesight in a traumatizing accident? His disability was still a fact of his life.

“I want more, better adult fiction in braille,” he said. “I like reading physical books, and I can’t always get everything I’m interested in.” Braille books were a pain in the ass, but that was beside the point.

Foggy groaned. “Dude, I’ve seen your Bible. You could literally use it as a weapon. Guys, his braille Bible is in like 15 volumes that are each about this thick.” He held his hands up to demonstrate.

“This is my fantasy present. Just because you don’t use braille books doesn’t mean I don’t want them.”

“You could come up with something sensible like people who will give us money to use our law degrees, but instead you want books you can touch,” Foggy complained in a light voice. “Your incredible, long-suffering best friend bought you a subscription to an audio book service for Christmas, and you’re throwing his gift in his face.”

“That was years ago,” Matt pointed out. “The subscription lapsed.” Foggy groaned and told Matt he’d rolled his eyes, too because Matt made enough money to renew it.

And then Matt found himself included in a room-wide debate about methods and forms of reading, and he got to explain his own experience with braille, reading e-books with screen readers and braille displays and listening to audiobooks. Everyone seemed genuinely interested, and he was surprised how nice that inclusion felt.

 

The final thing they all did was at night. Outside the window, the sun had disappeared and the city had turned on. Quietly, Karen got up and Matt heard the subtle sound of the overhead lights going dark. From the corner, Matt heard the humming of hundreds of tiny lights, and the soft catches of breath in response to the tree being lit.

“The lights are white, but they’re soft not harsh,” Foggy said automatically, drifting back to Matt’s side. “The tree by itself is a decent size. Just a few inches taller than you. I’m guessing you knew that part though.”

There was a breath of silence and then —

“Someone got pretty purple lights, too,” Karen said. “They add a nice ambiance to the room and soften the white even more.”

Pause.

“The billionaire forgot to buy ornaments, but there is a gaudy star on top,” Jess told him from his other side.

“I wouldn’t call it gaudy,” Luke said. He hesitated a moment before he continued, like he was reaching for the right words. “It’s big, but it’s such a light yellow that it doesn’t clash with the other lights and it really isn’t that bright. It does pulse though, which makes it look like it’s shining.”

“The tree works as a pretty good lamp,” Danny said. “It’s soft, but it’s kind of like a big nightlight.”

Matt had trouble zeroing in on the feeling twisting in his chest and he wasn’t sure what his face was doing to reflect it, but Foggy reached across his back to put a hand on his shoulder.

"It’s not just a five-point star, either. It’s long and thin with points sticking out from the middle,” Claire said, joining the knot of people that had formed around Matt.

“This is maybe my favorite tradition of the night,” Colleen whispered. He heard the rhythm of her and Danny’s heartbeats mix together and settle into the beat all couples shared. Other signals he didn’t know how to name or how he sensed suggested they’d settled into each other.

Nearby, Karen leaned her head against Foggy’s shoulder and Claire and Luke drifted together. Jess took the space on Matt’s other side and bumped their shoulders together, keeping contact. Foggy’s hand slipped from his shoulder to his waist.

The mood of the room in general was easier and more relaxed now. The smell of the baking had settled and drifted out of the window. The alcohol had dulled the earlier edges of the afternoon. And the lights, even though he couldn’t see them, made everything warm in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature in the room.

    

It was late, later than any of them should be out, but no one wanted to leave. The baked goods were boxed up, the alcohol was finished off and people were still talking quietly. Someone closed the window.

Matt was by the tree, trying to decide if it was real or fake because it was surprisingly hard to tell. He doubted anyone else would know either. He tipped his head toward the sound of Foggy approaching.

“This was really nice. We should do it every Christmas,” he said.

Matt nodded. “We’ll add it to the collection of traditions.”

Foggy felt warm and comfortable beside him, and it really did feel like every other Christmas Matt had lived with him. Even at the Nelsons’ they always found a moment to themselves near the end of the night, where they detached from the rest of the company for some quiet.

“I didn’t mention before the way the lights reflect off your glasses and make them look even darker,” Foggy said. Matt hummed for him to go on.

“A lot of times light makes them more translucent and I can see your eyes, but the purple just doubles down on the tint. It’s also making your hair look darker and it’s bringing out the non-brown highlights. It really is softening, too. We all look like we’re on the set of a movie or something.”

“I’m really glad we did this, Fog,” Matt said quietly. He’d been nervous. The others hadn’t been thrilled to hear, a full week after Nelson & Murdock 2.0 started, that Matt wasn’t dead.

He didn’t blame them, but they’d slowly realized that with the time he’d needed to recover, and having Fisk thrown at him immediately, he hadn’t really been in a position to knock on their doors and share the news.

Whether he’d ever intended to was an entirely different, and now irrelevant, question. If he’d had it his way at the time, he wouldn’t have been around to stop Fisk at all. 

“Me too, buddy.” Foggy was smiling, Matt could hear it in his voice, and he sank into it, letting the familiar comfort of Foggy, Foggy, Foggy envelop him.

“Every Christmas I’ve ever had with you has been a good one,” Matt confessed. “They just keep getting better.”

Maybe it was the warmth, or the mental picture he had of the glowing lights buffing out all their sharp, hard angles. Maybe it was that Matt could feel all of the ways their friendship had been repaired, and how it felt stronger than ever.

All he knew was that it felt right.

Foggy’s heart was tripping along steadily, but Matt thought it had started beating faster. There was a prickle of very light sweat rising to the surface of his skin, and a flush that wasn’t related to the other people or the lights.

Considering all the history they shared, with the inside jokes and a story for every occasion, and how well they knew each other, it wasn’t a surprise when Foggy leaned closer and kissed him.

Now that history was buoyed and strengthened by exposed secrets and information that hadn’t always been there, Matt felt comfortable kissing him back.

Every Christmas with Foggy really was better than the last.     

**Author's Note:**

> The traditions:  
> —baking,   
> —meditating,   
> —decorating whoever’s living space   
> —listening to music and eating the baked goods (Matt explaining Catholic Christmas)   
> —very pointedly ignoring childhoods because no one wants to go there  
> —holiday shots   
> —holiday-themed mixed drinks   
> —sharing your dream Christmas present   
> —lighting the Christmas tree and turning all the other lights off  
> —(Matt and Foggy specific) a kiss


End file.
